You're my little dorito
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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