Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
sick fucks of a feather flock together
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
