Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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