its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
