So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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