508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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