her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
