I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Randomize
