so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
