She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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