Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
