There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
