whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
