Have you finally orgasmed yet?
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
