Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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