I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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