remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
