you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Just pee around me
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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