too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
