im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
