I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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