note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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