i just wanna soil my oats bro
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
