I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
