There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Mom said you looked used
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Randomize
