it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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