going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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