maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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