You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize