My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
