i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize