this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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