No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Randomize
