So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
