Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
