My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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