wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
