It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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