I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You dont lie about slip and slides
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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