Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
