I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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