i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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