what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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