i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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