I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
