I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
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Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
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No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize