Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
