ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
