my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
porn star boner night. come get it.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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