I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
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My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
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He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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