She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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