I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
