i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Randomize
