Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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