i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
We need a shit load of segways right now
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Randomize
