Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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