in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Houston, we have a blender
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
We have started to decorate penises.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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