420 ftw
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
