i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
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My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
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I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I would ride that face into the sunset
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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