So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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