Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
