lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
